I'm sure they tried very hard. [ With a very faint snort, and more concern than that, because-- she doesn't like thinking about Leon being hurt. Or even attacked. ]
[ Look, she's not going to reach out and touch him, because odds are he'll flinch back. But Otome keeps her eyes on his face, and speaks quietly. ]
As I said... it isn't easy, and I know you could have handled it, but... well. To see someone important fall, due to your hand, even if it isn't actually that person--
Really, I had a hard time watching my own robot get destroyed. [ That scream... she winces slightly now, thinking back to it. ]
[.... He doesn't like to think of Otome dealing with that, just as much as he doesn't like the look on Stahn's face when he'd done it. His expression tightens, and he glances at her--but he's not able to meet her eyes, looking away quickly again.]
That is why... I should have handled it. [He should not have let Stahn do it.
He should not have put Stahn in a position where he had to.
Leon's the hardened knight, not Stahn.]
It... is not as though I like him. [There's something incredibly weak about that protest, though.]
It's not about whether someone requires protection or not. I know you and a lot of my friends are extremely capable, but I wouldn't be able to sit still if I knew something dangerous was happening.
Because he wasn't able to face Stahn's face like that. He wasn't able to lift his sword against someone who looked like Stahn,not again, and so he'd let Stahn put himself into danger because of his own inability.
...]
I am a coward.
[Isn't that what it boils down to? He was too frightened to do anything, and too weak to work through it. Somehow, it's easier to admit to Otome than he'd thought it would be--but perhaps it's because there's something about her even now that reminds him of...well, the only actual piece of home he ever had.
He'd talked to Marian like this too. So even though Otome is different...it's reassuring.]
[ That face... has she ever actually seen Leon make a face like that before? It's almost as surprising as hearing him make an admittance that declares some sort of vulnerability. Otome had since learned to read the truth between his words - and it's usually always there, in his mannerisms - but for Leon to outright state it like that?
... She won't take it for granted; she's touched. And also more than a little concerned. ]
[Is it that he didn't want to, or that he wasn't capable of it? He's not sure. If pushed to it, would he have been able to throw himself into the fray to protect Stahn? He likes to think so, but he's not certain, and that bothers him more than he'd like to admit.
He sighs, ducking his head, hair falling to frame and hide his face in equal measure.]
I cannot say for certain that I would have been capable of such a thing.
[He's been declaring all week, almost frantically, that he can do it.
That he could kill them if need be. That they were just robots.
And when it came down to it... they looked like Stahn, and he hesitated.]
[ again, there's the urge to reach out to him, to nudge his bangs away from his face in quiet reassurance-- but, as always, Otome suppresses it and instead clears her throat. ]
That doesn't make you a coward.
[ She'll just softly point that out. She doubts Stahn thinks any less of Leon for it, and she remembers how... vaguely uncomfortable it had been to have watched Hiro kill something that looked/sounded/acted like her. ]
[His fingers tighten into fists. What...would he do if something like this happened again? He remembers how Stahn had asked for his help, and how Leon had barely been able to do anything even then--and his eyes narrow as his expression tightens.
If this happens again--and it might, because this is Cerealia--then...]
... I'll stop them myself before they can be a proper threat. I won't allow this to happen again.
[Because, after all, Leon is a perfectionist. He does learn from his mistakes. It's just difficult for him to shake off the fact that he made them in the first place.]
There you go. I realize it can be difficult to not review things that have happened in the past and feel some sort of anxiety over them-- but that's not anything any of us can change so easily. What's important right now is that you and Stahn are safe and in one piece, and if it does happen again, you'll put an end to it.
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...Yes, well. [After that lengthy, awkward pause, he's just clearing his throat.] They did not harm me, in the end.
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[Not saying they didn't try.]
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[He seems unbothered in that aspect, at least.]
They were mostly ineffectual, to be honest.
[It was what came next that was the hard part.]
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[ UNLESS YOU'RE HIRO. ]
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But Otome's right on the money, of course, which is why Leon glances away.]
... I could have handled it.
[Which, of course, implies that he didn't.]
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[ Yeah, she caught that. ]
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...Yes.]
... He would not allow me-- [... no, that's not right at all. Leon still could've stepped in. But he didn't.]
... In the end, I allowed him to do so, yes.
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[ Look, she's not going to reach out and touch him, because odds are he'll flinch back. But Otome keeps her eyes on his face, and speaks quietly. ]
As I said... it isn't easy, and I know you could have handled it, but... well. To see someone important fall, due to your hand, even if it isn't actually that person--
Really, I had a hard time watching my own robot get destroyed. [ That scream... she winces slightly now, thinking back to it. ]
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That is why... I should have handled it. [He should not have let Stahn do it.
He should not have put Stahn in a position where he had to.
Leon's the hardened knight, not Stahn.]
It... is not as though I like him. [There's something incredibly weak about that protest, though.]
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... I think that's enough to make a situation like that less than pleasant.
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[Right either... but no, she's giving him an out, isn't she? He should take it, instead of constantly undermining his own words.
He clears his throat.]
... Stahn is the one who is softhearted, not me. I don't require his protection.
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It's not about whether someone requires protection or not. I know you and a lot of my friends are extremely capable, but I wouldn't be able to sit still if I knew something dangerous was happening.
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...And yet that is what I did.
[But then...he's not a good friend, is he? He's...whatever he is, and he let Stahn handle it all on himself, couldn't do anything to help.]
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[ There's nothing judgmental about her tone. But maybe it's something Leon needs to voice. If not... there's no obligation. ]
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Because he wasn't able to face Stahn's face like that. He wasn't able to lift his sword against someone who looked like Stahn,not again, and so he'd let Stahn put himself into danger because of his own inability.
...]
I am a coward.
[Isn't that what it boils down to? He was too frightened to do anything, and too weak to work through it. Somehow, it's easier to admit to Otome than he'd thought it would be--but perhaps it's because there's something about her even now that reminds him of...well, the only actual piece of home he ever had.
He'd talked to Marian like this too. So even though Otome is different...it's reassuring.]
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... She won't take it for granted; she's touched. And also more than a little concerned. ]
Because you didn't want to fight them?
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He sighs, ducking his head, hair falling to frame and hide his face in equal measure.]
I cannot say for certain that I would have been capable of such a thing.
[He's been declaring all week, almost frantically, that he can do it.
That he could kill them if need be. That they were just robots.
And when it came down to it... they looked like Stahn, and he hesitated.]
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That doesn't make you a coward.
[ She'll just softly point that out. She doubts Stahn thinks any less of Leon for it, and she remembers how... vaguely uncomfortable it had been to have watched Hiro kill something that looked/sounded/acted like her. ]
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[He won't hesitate to argue that one, expression flat when he does look at her then.]
I should be able to handle any opponent; the face attached does not matter. That is what I should be able to do on my honor as a knight--
[... Not that he has much honor anymore.
Or is a knight.
... Kind of ruins his entire argument, honestly, but still.]
...It was pathetic that I could not do even that much. That creature was a threat. [To Stahn, especially, which is what makes it even worse.]
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[ Except her group but you know, that was completely different. ]
I suppose, the question is, if something like this happened again, what would you do?
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If this happens again--and it might, because this is Cerealia--then...]
... I'll stop them myself before they can be a proper threat. I won't allow this to happen again.
[Because, after all, Leon is a perfectionist. He does learn from his mistakes. It's just difficult for him to shake off the fact that he made them in the first place.]
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