[ Look, she's not going to reach out and touch him, because odds are he'll flinch back. But Otome keeps her eyes on his face, and speaks quietly. ]
As I said... it isn't easy, and I know you could have handled it, but... well. To see someone important fall, due to your hand, even if it isn't actually that person--
Really, I had a hard time watching my own robot get destroyed. [ That scream... she winces slightly now, thinking back to it. ]
[.... He doesn't like to think of Otome dealing with that, just as much as he doesn't like the look on Stahn's face when he'd done it. His expression tightens, and he glances at her--but he's not able to meet her eyes, looking away quickly again.]
That is why... I should have handled it. [He should not have let Stahn do it.
He should not have put Stahn in a position where he had to.
Leon's the hardened knight, not Stahn.]
It... is not as though I like him. [There's something incredibly weak about that protest, though.]
It's not about whether someone requires protection or not. I know you and a lot of my friends are extremely capable, but I wouldn't be able to sit still if I knew something dangerous was happening.
Because he wasn't able to face Stahn's face like that. He wasn't able to lift his sword against someone who looked like Stahn,not again, and so he'd let Stahn put himself into danger because of his own inability.
...]
I am a coward.
[Isn't that what it boils down to? He was too frightened to do anything, and too weak to work through it. Somehow, it's easier to admit to Otome than he'd thought it would be--but perhaps it's because there's something about her even now that reminds him of...well, the only actual piece of home he ever had.
He'd talked to Marian like this too. So even though Otome is different...it's reassuring.]
[ That face... has she ever actually seen Leon make a face like that before? It's almost as surprising as hearing him make an admittance that declares some sort of vulnerability. Otome had since learned to read the truth between his words - and it's usually always there, in his mannerisms - but for Leon to outright state it like that?
... She won't take it for granted; she's touched. And also more than a little concerned. ]
[Is it that he didn't want to, or that he wasn't capable of it? He's not sure. If pushed to it, would he have been able to throw himself into the fray to protect Stahn? He likes to think so, but he's not certain, and that bothers him more than he'd like to admit.
He sighs, ducking his head, hair falling to frame and hide his face in equal measure.]
I cannot say for certain that I would have been capable of such a thing.
[He's been declaring all week, almost frantically, that he can do it.
That he could kill them if need be. That they were just robots.
And when it came down to it... they looked like Stahn, and he hesitated.]
[ again, there's the urge to reach out to him, to nudge his bangs away from his face in quiet reassurance-- but, as always, Otome suppresses it and instead clears her throat. ]
That doesn't make you a coward.
[ She'll just softly point that out. She doubts Stahn thinks any less of Leon for it, and she remembers how... vaguely uncomfortable it had been to have watched Hiro kill something that looked/sounded/acted like her. ]
[His fingers tighten into fists. What...would he do if something like this happened again? He remembers how Stahn had asked for his help, and how Leon had barely been able to do anything even then--and his eyes narrow as his expression tightens.
If this happens again--and it might, because this is Cerealia--then...]
... I'll stop them myself before they can be a proper threat. I won't allow this to happen again.
[Because, after all, Leon is a perfectionist. He does learn from his mistakes. It's just difficult for him to shake off the fact that he made them in the first place.]
There you go. I realize it can be difficult to not review things that have happened in the past and feel some sort of anxiety over them-- but that's not anything any of us can change so easily. What's important right now is that you and Stahn are safe and in one piece, and if it does happen again, you'll put an end to it.
[If it does happen again...he'll put an end to it.
She says it so certainly, and it's...hearing someone else say it that really helps. People have (rightfully, honestly) been doubting him the entire time this robot thing has been happening, and even if he's stuck to his guns, there's something different about hearing someone he trusts say that he could do it.
Just like that.
He'll be able to put an end to it.]
...Yes. That's correct. If something like this happens again, I will be ready to handle the situation.
[... It's a bit like a weight off of his shoulders, oddly. How did that happen so easily?]
[... He supposes he will be. There's still a lot he and Stahn are going to have to figure out in the wake of all of this, but... he really will be fine. He'll be able to handle this next time it appears. And in the end, what it means is that he didn't want to raise his blade to his friend again, and honestly?
Leon finds it hard to see that entirely as a bad thing, after everything he'd done before.
Perhaps he is capable of learning from his mistakes. Either way, he just sighs softly, glancing away--but it's more a mix of embarrassment and weariness than anything this time.]
It... isn't as though that was ever in doubt.
[It's odd how talking with Otome settles him, though. More and more, that reminds him of Marian while also being uniquely Otome as well. Which is why after a moment, his mouth goes before his brain can entirely catch up.]
Otome, you are-- [Wait, no, BACK IT UP, his brain has caught up and this is not what he wants to be talking about right now. What was he thinking?]
[ She won't call into question how insecure he'd seemed when he was talking about it. Perhaps he'd just needed someone to agree with him, completely and sincerely. Whatever the case, Leon seems more tired than upset, and that's really all she can ask for.
... Well, no, okay, she can ask one more thing, when he suddenly cuts himself off. Both eyebrows raise slightly in faint surprise and more than mild curiosity, but still, her voice remains soft. ]
[But doesn't she deserve to know? He's not really sure at this point how much he should or shouldn't say, especially considering how things had ended for Marian, but...
On the other hand, he ran out of time to talk to Marian, didn't he?
Knowing that much, shouldn't he at least...say something before it's too late?]
... Rather... I am grateful...for your patience. [And understanding. And kindness. And... everything.] I told you once that you were likely simply trying to act as though you cared for your own gain and that was...doing you a disservice.
I can't claim to know anything about what you've been through, other than what you've told me. [ If she's surprised (and she is), she doesn't show it, only looking at him steadily. ] And I won't ask, either.
... When you told me that, I wasn't offended. There are certainly people like that, and I have my own moments of selfishness, I won't lie.
[He'll shake his head quickly at that. He hasn't done anything but be his typical, suspicious, paranoid self. The fact that Otome kept reaching out to him anyway, without ever asking anything in return...that's all thanks to her, and he knows he hasn't done anything to make her efforts any easier.
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[ Look, she's not going to reach out and touch him, because odds are he'll flinch back. But Otome keeps her eyes on his face, and speaks quietly. ]
As I said... it isn't easy, and I know you could have handled it, but... well. To see someone important fall, due to your hand, even if it isn't actually that person--
Really, I had a hard time watching my own robot get destroyed. [ That scream... she winces slightly now, thinking back to it. ]
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That is why... I should have handled it. [He should not have let Stahn do it.
He should not have put Stahn in a position where he had to.
Leon's the hardened knight, not Stahn.]
It... is not as though I like him. [There's something incredibly weak about that protest, though.]
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... I think that's enough to make a situation like that less than pleasant.
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[Right either... but no, she's giving him an out, isn't she? He should take it, instead of constantly undermining his own words.
He clears his throat.]
... Stahn is the one who is softhearted, not me. I don't require his protection.
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It's not about whether someone requires protection or not. I know you and a lot of my friends are extremely capable, but I wouldn't be able to sit still if I knew something dangerous was happening.
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...And yet that is what I did.
[But then...he's not a good friend, is he? He's...whatever he is, and he let Stahn handle it all on himself, couldn't do anything to help.]
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[ There's nothing judgmental about her tone. But maybe it's something Leon needs to voice. If not... there's no obligation. ]
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Because he wasn't able to face Stahn's face like that. He wasn't able to lift his sword against someone who looked like Stahn,not again, and so he'd let Stahn put himself into danger because of his own inability.
...]
I am a coward.
[Isn't that what it boils down to? He was too frightened to do anything, and too weak to work through it. Somehow, it's easier to admit to Otome than he'd thought it would be--but perhaps it's because there's something about her even now that reminds him of...well, the only actual piece of home he ever had.
He'd talked to Marian like this too. So even though Otome is different...it's reassuring.]
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... She won't take it for granted; she's touched. And also more than a little concerned. ]
Because you didn't want to fight them?
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He sighs, ducking his head, hair falling to frame and hide his face in equal measure.]
I cannot say for certain that I would have been capable of such a thing.
[He's been declaring all week, almost frantically, that he can do it.
That he could kill them if need be. That they were just robots.
And when it came down to it... they looked like Stahn, and he hesitated.]
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That doesn't make you a coward.
[ She'll just softly point that out. She doubts Stahn thinks any less of Leon for it, and she remembers how... vaguely uncomfortable it had been to have watched Hiro kill something that looked/sounded/acted like her. ]
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[He won't hesitate to argue that one, expression flat when he does look at her then.]
I should be able to handle any opponent; the face attached does not matter. That is what I should be able to do on my honor as a knight--
[... Not that he has much honor anymore.
Or is a knight.
... Kind of ruins his entire argument, honestly, but still.]
...It was pathetic that I could not do even that much. That creature was a threat. [To Stahn, especially, which is what makes it even worse.]
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[ Except her group but you know, that was completely different. ]
I suppose, the question is, if something like this happened again, what would you do?
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If this happens again--and it might, because this is Cerealia--then...]
... I'll stop them myself before they can be a proper threat. I won't allow this to happen again.
[Because, after all, Leon is a perfectionist. He does learn from his mistakes. It's just difficult for him to shake off the fact that he made them in the first place.]
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She says it so certainly, and it's...hearing someone else say it that really helps. People have (rightfully, honestly) been doubting him the entire time this robot thing has been happening, and even if he's stuck to his guns, there's something different about hearing someone he trusts say that he could do it.
Just like that.
He'll be able to put an end to it.]
...Yes. That's correct. If something like this happens again, I will be ready to handle the situation.
[... It's a bit like a weight off of his shoulders, oddly. How did that happen so easily?]
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[ And he sounds like he believes it now, too. ]
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Leon finds it hard to see that entirely as a bad thing, after everything he'd done before.
Perhaps he is capable of learning from his mistakes. Either way, he just sighs softly, glancing away--but it's more a mix of embarrassment and weariness than anything this time.]
It... isn't as though that was ever in doubt.
[It's odd how talking with Otome settles him, though. More and more, that reminds him of Marian while also being uniquely Otome as well. Which is why after a moment, his mouth goes before his brain can entirely catch up.]
Otome, you are-- [Wait, no, BACK IT UP, his brain has caught up and this is not what he wants to be talking about right now. What was he thinking?]
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... Well, no, okay, she can ask one more thing, when he suddenly cuts himself off. Both eyebrows raise slightly in faint surprise and more than mild curiosity, but still, her voice remains soft. ]
I am...?
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[But doesn't she deserve to know? He's not really sure at this point how much he should or shouldn't say, especially considering how things had ended for Marian, but...
On the other hand, he ran out of time to talk to Marian, didn't he?
Knowing that much, shouldn't he at least...say something before it's too late?]
... Rather... I am grateful...for your patience. [And understanding. And kindness. And... everything.] I told you once that you were likely simply trying to act as though you cared for your own gain and that was...doing you a disservice.
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... When you told me that, I wasn't offended. There are certainly people like that, and I have my own moments of selfishness, I won't lie.
But thank you, Leon. For giving me a chance.
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[He'll shake his head quickly at that. He hasn't done anything but be his typical, suspicious, paranoid self. The fact that Otome kept reaching out to him anyway, without ever asking anything in return...that's all thanks to her, and he knows he hasn't done anything to make her efforts any easier.
It feels wrong to be thanked by her for that.]
Don't be ridiculous.
[He's the one who's lucky here.]
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... So if I managed to convince you that I'm sincere, that's also because you let me.
[ And had cared, himself, but she won't mention that. Leon was one of those people who definitely required baby steps. ]
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I... did nothing of the sort, enough. Besides, it is hardly as though you would allow anyone to stop you from doing what you wish.
[Otome's headstrong, he's learned that by now.]
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