[Why do you have to... not let him escape... he looks discomfited at that, glancing away.
..............]
Truthfully, you... [..... should he even......... well, it's too late to back down now, right? She at least deserves to know this much.]
... You reminded me of someone, then. [Someone incredibly dear to him.] I do not believe that assessment was incorrect, either, now that I know you better.
[ That... could mean anything, but from how hesitantly he began, she doesn't think it's a bad comparison. So Otome merely blinks and waits for him to continue. ]
The person who practically raised him, and was always kind to him. The only one who ever seemed to care for so long--Otome has traces of Marian in her, in the way that she is always looking out for other people to no benefit for herself, the way that she has that motherly air to her, and the way that in the end, he has the sneaking suspicion that she'd put his health before hers.
It would go terribly, too.
But he doesn't really know how to say all of that, so instead, he can only finish lamely:]
I see. [ Somewhat. That doesn't answer much, but now she's 97% certain that this mysterious person of Leon's is someone he cares about. If just because he'd have much more to say if she wasn't. ]
She sounds like someone I wouldn't mind meeting, one day.
[ ... Interesting response there, but Otome only nods (not that he can see it) and reaches out to lightly touch his shoulder. It's brief, before she draws her hand back. ]
I suppose it's just something we won't know about until it happens.
He honestly can't imagine why. She says something like that so sincerely, so certainly. He doesn't understand why she's so sure over something that he finds it almost hard to believe.
Except Otome wouldn't lie to him.
Which means...she's sincerely glad that she was able to meet him.
He stares at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and then he glances away quickly, but he's more embarrassed than anything.]
...There.... is no reason for that. I haven't-- [He hasn't done anything to be grateful for. And... and it's not fair either for her to be so happy to have met him when he's not even alive anymore.]
You should know that I am--
[...Dead. That there's nothing left for him. That she's getting attached to a corpse.]
I'm going to have an argument for both of those statements, if you'd like to complete them.
[ He hasn't done anything? Why did he have to do anything? He'd simply been himself, and yes, Leon could be more than a little abrasive and prickly, but he cared deeply for the few people he allowed closer-- she'd seen that much for herself. He'd been through more than any sixteen-year-old boy ought to have dealt with, and Otome can't help but love him.
Even with what she knows... why would that make him any less worth caring about? ]
[He frowns tightly at that, immediately. That...she's so certain of it immediately, and he doesn't understand why. Why is she even... so sure of this?]
What? Why? [...And then he realizes that that's a bit too vulnerable, and puts him in a bit too vulnerable a position.]
That is, there is no possible way that you could even know what I intended to say. [H-hmph!]
If I hadn't met you, I would still be making the same mistakes. If I hadn't met you, no one might have come for me when I collapsed. If I hadn't met you, Leon, there would still be a part of me that was incredibly lonely.
You may refuse to give yourself credit, but you are a very important person to me. And I will never regret a single moment of my time with you.
Of course, this is the last thing he was prepared for. The utter certainty in her words, the way that she has all of these instances that... well, he knows he did them, but even so, he'd never thought that it'd be that big of a deal to her.
It's too much to think that...even like this, even after how his life was and ended, he was able to help, isn't it?
(But maybe it isn't.)]
... Someone else could have... just as easily--
[He's struggling to find words now, that's for sure, because he's arguing it to argue it but he wants to believe it.]
[ Firmly. Sorry, normally she'd let him deflect as much as he desired, but she also gets the feeling that he needs to hear this. So Otome isn't going to let him deny this. Not this, not when it's so important. ]
Leon's mouth closes immediately, and for a long moment, he can only stare at her. It was him, huh? Him and nobody else who was able to make this impact on her. It was him who helped her, and it's him who... Otome cares that much about...?
For a brief, sickening moment it feels like he's making the same mistakes that he made before, that something will happen to Otome as well and it will be his own fault, solely because she got attached to someone like him--
But that moment is very quickly swamped by how sincerely glad he is, because this sort of thing... it's rare and it's new and it's still something precious. First there was only Marian and Chaltier--after that came Stahn and Rutee and Mary and Philia, Woodrow and Johnny and even Chelsea and Kongman, people who he has to admit, if only to himself, cared about him (and, in turn, who he cared about too). But for it to happen again is still...overwhelming, and for a long moment, he can only stare at her before he swallows, because suddenly, strangely, his throat feels tight.]
... I see. [For once, it's hard to find a way to deflect at all, honestly.] You...can believe what you want, naturally, regardless of the truthfulness of it.
[But even as he does say that... well, he's pleased, deep down (or maybe not so deep down, honestly).]
[ Sometimes... there are certainly times where Otome wishes he'd believe in her a little more. Because when he looks at her when she says these things, she wonders if she's imagining something like hesitance and fear in his gaze-- not of her, she suspects, but then it would be for her, and she knows what he's said, about betrayal. But Otome also knows, as he'd told her, that betrayal would never happen if not for a very good reason. If it ever comes to that, she doubts she'd blame him.
But if nothing else, he's finally accepting that she cares, and he isn't fighting her on it, and that's... honestly incredible, so Otome smiles at him and leans back against the couch. ]
Thank you for that. We'll work on convincing you on the truth of it at a later date.
[It leaves him suddenly feeling rather adrift. She accepts that so easily (but isn't that just an Otome thing, isn't that just what she does?) and it leaves him entirely off-balance.
He hesitates for a moment, and then tentatively he leans back against the couch as well on his end of things, still looking as though he's waiting for the second shoe to drop somewhere.]
...Keep your unnecessary plans to yourself...
[But that's just an uncertain murmur. After all, she doesn't really need to convince him at all.
He already knows that everything she tells him, by now, is the truth.]
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I... did nothing of the sort, enough. Besides, it is hardly as though you would allow anyone to stop you from doing what you wish.
[Otome's headstrong, he's learned that by now.]
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..............]
Truthfully, you... [..... should he even......... well, it's too late to back down now, right? She at least deserves to know this much.]
... You reminded me of someone, then. [Someone incredibly dear to him.] I do not believe that assessment was incorrect, either, now that I know you better.
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[ That... could mean anything, but from how hesitantly he began, she doesn't think it's a bad comparison. So Otome merely blinks and waits for him to continue. ]
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[... Very important to him.
The person who practically raised him, and was always kind to him. The only one who ever seemed to care for so long--Otome has traces of Marian in her, in the way that she is always looking out for other people to no benefit for herself, the way that she has that motherly air to her, and the way that in the end, he has the sneaking suspicion that she'd put his health before hers.
It would go terribly, too.
But he doesn't really know how to say all of that, so instead, he can only finish lamely:]
--a lot like you. [Obviously.]
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She sounds like someone I wouldn't mind meeting, one day.
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[That comes immediately, almost too quickly--and then he bites his tongue, shaking his head. No, that isn't true. It's just... him.
Even if he wasn't dead, he wouldn't be able to see Marian again, not after what he put her through.
But the pause drags on too long, and he looks away.]
That is--perhaps someday, you would be able to.
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I suppose it's just something we won't know about until it happens.
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... Marian. Her name is Marian.
[A beat, and...]
...For if you ever are granted that opportunity.
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For now, I'll consider myself lucky enough that I was able to meet you.
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He honestly can't imagine why. She says something like that so sincerely, so certainly. He doesn't understand why she's so sure over something that he finds it almost hard to believe.
Except Otome wouldn't lie to him.
Which means...she's sincerely glad that she was able to meet him.
He stares at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and then he glances away quickly, but he's more embarrassed than anything.]
...There.... is no reason for that. I haven't-- [He hasn't done anything to be grateful for. And... and it's not fair either for her to be so happy to have met him when he's not even alive anymore.]
You should know that I am--
[...Dead. That there's nothing left for him. That she's getting attached to a corpse.]
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[ He hasn't done anything? Why did he have to do anything? He'd simply been himself, and yes, Leon could be more than a little abrasive and prickly, but he cared deeply for the few people he allowed closer-- she'd seen that much for herself. He'd been through more than any sixteen-year-old boy ought to have dealt with, and Otome can't help but love him.
Even with what she knows... why would that make him any less worth caring about? ]
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What? Why? [...And then he realizes that that's a bit too vulnerable, and puts him in a bit too vulnerable a position.]
That is, there is no possible way that you could even know what I intended to say. [H-hmph!]
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But as it stands, either way, my opinion won't be changing.
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And what opinion is that, then? More claims of being lucky to have met me, despite being nothing of the sort?
[Leon you don't actually want to know this.]
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You may refuse to give yourself credit, but you are a very important person to me. And I will never regret a single moment of my time with you.
[ So there. ]
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Shit.
Of course, this is the last thing he was prepared for. The utter certainty in her words, the way that she has all of these instances that... well, he knows he did them, but even so, he'd never thought that it'd be that big of a deal to her.
It's too much to think that...even like this, even after how his life was and ended, he was able to help, isn't it?
(But maybe it isn't.)]
... Someone else could have... just as easily--
[He's struggling to find words now, that's for sure, because he's arguing it to argue it but he wants to believe it.]
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[ Firmly. Sorry, normally she'd let him deflect as much as he desired, but she also gets the feeling that he needs to hear this. So Otome isn't going to let him deny this. Not this, not when it's so important. ]
It was you.
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Leon's mouth closes immediately, and for a long moment, he can only stare at her. It was him, huh? Him and nobody else who was able to make this impact on her. It was him who helped her, and it's him who... Otome cares that much about...?
For a brief, sickening moment it feels like he's making the same mistakes that he made before, that something will happen to Otome as well and it will be his own fault, solely because she got attached to someone like him--
But that moment is very quickly swamped by how sincerely glad he is, because this sort of thing... it's rare and it's new and it's still something precious. First there was only Marian and Chaltier--after that came Stahn and Rutee and Mary and Philia, Woodrow and Johnny and even Chelsea and Kongman, people who he has to admit, if only to himself, cared about him (and, in turn, who he cared about too). But for it to happen again is still...overwhelming, and for a long moment, he can only stare at her before he swallows, because suddenly, strangely, his throat feels tight.]
... I see. [For once, it's hard to find a way to deflect at all, honestly.] You...can believe what you want, naturally, regardless of the truthfulness of it.
[But even as he does say that... well, he's pleased, deep down (or maybe not so deep down, honestly).]
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But if nothing else, he's finally accepting that she cares, and he isn't fighting her on it, and that's... honestly incredible, so Otome smiles at him and leans back against the couch. ]
Thank you for that. We'll work on convincing you on the truth of it at a later date.
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He hesitates for a moment, and then tentatively he leans back against the couch as well on his end of things, still looking as though he's waiting for the second shoe to drop somewhere.]
...Keep your unnecessary plans to yourself...
[But that's just an uncertain murmur. After all, she doesn't really need to convince him at all.
He already knows that everything she tells him, by now, is the truth.]