[Yeah, he can tell. He's quiet for a moment as he continues to work at that tangled hair, frowning to himself. Things don't usually get Stahn down like this, but... man, he must have had a shitty time.]
Is that so... and what did you experience in it?
[Leon didn't exactly have fun either, but...he seems to have gotten off a little more lightly than Stahn.]
A couple of huuuge monsters tried to get me. One of them almost ate me! I would have been monster chow if I didn't have Dymlos with me. I helped someone who got hit with Paralyze... that part wasn't so bad.
[but remembering the worst part:]
Then I got stuck in a room with someone and when I tried to help get her out... I got turned to stone. [again. like the last time, remember that, leon?] It got the room unstuck but... I still feel...
[sluggish? tired? something. that sensation is never good, he was so disoriented when it wore off.]
[The monsters don't bother him, really. Obviously at this point Stahn can handle monsters--they all can. Helping someone, that's incredibly Stahn-like too.
It's not until he brings up that he got turned to stone that Leon's fingers tighten in Stahn's hair, almost painfully so, maybe.]
You did what.
[His tone is low, but... yeah he's not!! happy about this!!]
Let me guess. You were more than willing to risk yourself without any thought to your own safety in order to help this random stranger, even knowing that it was merely a game and they would be fine either way.
[... ... ... why is he so angry about it? Leon pauses, and slowly reins in his temper, returning to a more gently approach towards getting this comb out of Stahn's hair.
I couldn't just... not help. I was stuck too, but...
[he sighs a little. he really doesn't get what this makes him an idiot.]
She was defenseless, I couldn't just let her risk things when she didn't know what was happening. It wasn't real anyway, right? [it's not like he feels good about having been petrified again. that feeling is honestly awful and kind of scary, even if he bore it with a smile while it happened.] I'm okay, Leon.
[stop doing that! his scalp hurts a lot already and the way leon is tugging isn't helping. why is he getting so mad about this? this is what he's always done...
is leon really that worried that something bad will happen to him?]
I told you... I won't let that happen. You can trust me, I'm... not going to let things get like that. I won't let Hugo win. I'll get back to everyone... I'll make sure everyone can live peacefully...
[but he swallows hard, and not just because his scalp is throbbing. leon's really worried. he has to be, right? does he really not believe in stahn's ability to stay focused, even though he knows how important this task is to him?
leon left that job in his hands, and he's not going to forget that, despite all the pain. their friends... they need him there, and stahn knows that. so he can't die here. he won't. and if he can find a way for leon too, he will. there's too much to be done for him to die so easily.]
[... Stahn says that. And Leon does trust Stahn--he trusts Stahn's words, at least. But... how can he trust that Stahn won't fling his life away to save someone? There's no guarantee that he won't get himself into trouble trying to help these people, and they won't even know them after they manage to make their way back to their own world. It seems so pointless--
But he knows better than to say that.
Instead, he just loosens his fingers on Stahn's hair again, frowning to himself; it's fine, since it's not as though Stahn can see his face right now anyway.]
... Be certain that you do.
["Please don't die."
But he's just going to fall silent at that; he can feel the strands start to give, and now he can start to edge the comb out of his ridiculous mullet.]
[when leon's grip loosens, it's almost immediate the way stahn brings his fingers to his scalp in an attempt to rub out the pain.
there's an inaudible sigh he lets out, one that's probably only noticeable by the rise and fall fo stahn's shoulders from that angle. maybe it's better they can't see each other's expressions, because now stahn is... unsure what he feels about that. he feels frustrated that leon would get so upset at stahn for doing something he's always done... but he's also sorry for causing leon that kind of worry, too. he knows what leon's words are really meant to mean; he's not capable of misunderstanding that.
and yet in some way, it's also nice to hear leon being concerned about him to that point. it feels... real. it's a reminder that leon, the very same leon he was hurting over and missing so badly back home is here, and carrying on with the same care as ever... in his own, leon magnus sort of way.]
I won't stop trying when people need it, but... I'll be careful. [he finally says, quietly. he's not sure if that's an apology, or a declaration, or an assurance. he's not sure if he's saying it for leon's sake, dymlos' sake, or his own at this point.
[It doesn't really help as much as Leon would like it to, but... he supposes it's a start. He doesn't know that Stahn will really be able to stop himself from doing something dangerous when the time comes, but...
Leon can't ask that of him, either. Because Stahn is that way, and if he wasn't constantly helping people, he wouldn't be Stahn anymore. It's what made Stahn into the person he is. It's... what made Stahn Leon's friend (best friend?).
He frees the comb, and for a moment he just blinks at it--but he feels like they aren't done with this conversation, and Stahn's hair is still a matted disaster, so instead he just starts working at the tangles with said comb, somewhat carefully.]
... Fine. See to it that you are. It isn't as though it matters to me what you do with yourself, so long as--
I won't, Leon. I promise... I'm not going to let you down. [not with that. not with anything at all. leon left a lot of responsibilities in his hands. he has so much to accomplish for the sake of leon's sacrifices, for avenging him, for saving the world and making sure that hugo's plans don't ever come to pass.
there's just too much, and the last thing stahn wants to do is die before he can accomplish those things. if there was an afterlife, there's no way he'd ever be able to face leon in it if he were to fail. he can't fail leon. he can't fail his friends. he can't fail his family, the swordians, or the whole world.
stahn falls quiet again, his head dipping a bit—probably not the most helpful thing when leon is trying to work on his hair (and doing more than stahn could have ever asked for, honestly. see... leon's a pal when it really counts. this is why stahn trusts him so much). but he can't help himself; this is one of those topics that causes stahn to get a little too caught up in his own head and think way too much...
[Probably unsurprisingly, as Stahn's head dips, Leon's response comes quickly and sharply. Seeing Stahn bow his head like this--it doesn't feel right. He doesn't like it, and he's frustrated by it. And so, as ever, he handles things he's frustrated by with a bit of a harsh edge.]
Keep your head up.
[... There's a pause, and then he coughs quietly, realizing that he was getting perhaps a bit too invested in something that--
Well. He doesn't want Stahn to think that he cares if he's drooping, or anything like that!! That would be...ridiculous...]
[there it is... leon looking out for him, in his own ways. isn't that what this is?
...maybe it's not, but it feels like it's a little more than it's about his hair.]
Ah, right. Sorry. [he sounds a bit sheepish, but stahn doesn't make it sound like he's too upset or downcast. just like this next words don't give any indication to their true intent.]
Thanks, Leon. [it can be taken as simply as just thanking him for helping with his disastrous hair situation. and while that's partially true.. there's an underlying intent of thanking him for not letting stahn hang his head. he gets caught up in his thoughts too easily these days, with so many bad things having happened. both at home and here and cerealia, there have just been too many things, and falling back into a questioning mindset, worrying so much about everything... he can't help himself.
but he knows he'll get scolded for saying that, so he just quietly lifts his head to gaze straight ahead before closing his eyes.]
[He falls silent as well when Stahn does, working at the tangled strands of hair instead. Thankfully the swamp muck is all gone--it's just a matter of untangling the strands. And it gives him something to focus on as the silence drags on.
It's not like Stahn, of course. But Leon's realizing that a lot of things that "aren't like Stahn" are really just a matter of Stahn having had to change, after going through so much. Stahn... was still Stahn. But he's quieter sometimes now, more solemn, a little more downtrodden, and it doesn't feel right at all.
The comb gets caught on a knot, and Leon narrows his eyes, though he holds onto the hair so it doesn't tug too much.]
... It is growing more and more obvious that we are going to be here for some time. [Probably. There's always the chance that one of them will disappear, but Leon's choosing to not address that right now.] To that end... you won't be able to function if you are constantly focused on that. [If you are constantly shoving aside everything emotional... well, what sort of person would Stahn be if he did that constantly? Stahn isn't like Leon.
And not even Leon can do that all the time.]
Treat this much as you would have treated a long journey. Our goal has not changed, but our methodology musts if we are going to accomplish it.
[He doesn't really know how else to address the remaining, heavy feeling between them, really; all he knows is that... this can't be right either. If they are trying to return to some sort of normalcy--this isn't it.]
[in some ways, it's really strange to hear leon offering words of encouragement, because it was something he'd hardly ever heard in the past—not like this, at least. but much like stahn has changed... leon has too, right?
though while many of stahn's changes came as a result of the things that happened in the wake of leon's death, stahn suspects that leon had changed not so much because of his death but... maybe because of their journey together. maybe it's both, and stahn can't question it too deeply, but... this is different. it's different to hear these words coming from leon, and all the while as he's treating stahn so gently while working on his hair.
it's not a bad thing.
isn't this... what he always believed leon was capable of? isn't this why he'd always believed in leon right to the bitter end.]
I know. No matter what happens, I'm not giving up on anything. Getting back home, finishing everything with hugo, settling down and living happily when I can make a family and... ["and find a way for you to be able to live somewhere too" are the words he stops himself from saying; even with stahn's unfiltered nature, he's not ready to say something like that aloud. not when he knows that it'll just raise tensions they're trying to avoid.
so he clamps his mouth shut for a moment before sucking in a deep breath.] I won't lose sight of those things. We're going to figure it all out... I know that.
[he's trying here. he's trying to get out of his own head, and that's why he adds:]
I know my head's not good sometimes either, so... thanks. For reminding me, when that happens... what I can't let myself forget. [his head's not good. sometimes it's just because he's not smart, and because he can't always grasp the complex things, especially when they start getting a little too existential. but other times, his head isn't good just from the loss and the trauma that he's constantly forced to swallow and carry on with.
he wants the normalcy too, of course. he's just having a hard time getting there when the conversations turn this way.]
[Leon doesn't hear the unspoken words this time, which is probably for the better; he thinks that Stahn's goals are perfectly Stahn, and suit him well. Stahn just wants to have a family. He wants to live a happy life. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? Once he takes care of Hugo, once he saves the world... if Stahn has those goals to hold onto, he'll probably be okay.
And when Stahn is back and ready to save the world, Leon can rest, because this entire experience has been harrowing in ways he never expected or wanted.
Either way, he drags the comb through Stahn's hair, now mostly untangled, though it snags lightly on a few tangles on the way down (and honestly, how he does he even deal with a mane like this?).]
... Don't let yourself forget.
[That's really all Leon can say to that. He doesn't need the thanks, but he's not going to deny it either. They only have each other to keep themselves on track, as well as Chaltier and Dymlos, of course, but.... if this is going to be a long term thing, it's going to be hard on Stahn. Leon is just more used to long term missions.
That's all there is to this.]
In the meantime, so long as you are not being entirely frivolous about it, you may as well fill your time how you want.
[Leon's not going to judge anymore. They're stuck here, after all. They can't... leave, yet. So if Stahn wants to go make friends and play around and do things like that, it's not like Leon has any right to say he shouldn't, really.]
[it makes him feel strangely warm to hear that coming from leon. leon, who has always been strict with him. leon, who has always pushed their agenda and got mad when they started to lose focus. leon, who not long ago would have engaged in a blow-out argument for even suggesting something like that.
there's something good about it, he knows. somewhere along the way, leon has come to understand a bit about how stahn is, how he thinks and what he needs to in order to carry on. making connections with others, trying to help the people around him, and seeking reasons to smile when everything seems to damning is stahn's way. and leon isn't trying to push him into some other mold. so maybe that's why there's that warmth that spreads in his chest a little, that makes him feel like this is nothing less than the exact reason why he's been so keep to keep his faith in leon and call him "best friend" despite everything.
but despite that, there's something about it that feels so empty. he's accepting this from leon, but that's all it is, right? it's an offer. leon isn't doing the same for himself, and the truth of the matter is that for all the people he's come to care about in cerealia, leon is still the most important person here to him. leon is still someone he wants to see get to enjoy the new lease on life. leon is the one who needs to fill his time with things he enjoys, too.
in the end, stahn can't be selfish about it. even when he's at his darkest moments and his more selfish tendencies rise to the surface... leon's well-being is too important to him.]
I... hope you'll do the same. There are lot of things to enjoy, and a lot of good people... so you should fill your time with things you like too.
...Not just trying to find a way to get me back home. [do something for yourself, leon. please. live a little bit.]
[It's silly, really. He should've expected that. That's just incredibly Stahn, and Leon doesn't know why he could have ever thought there would be any other response.
But... it's not what he wants, either. He doesn't want Stahn looking out for him in this, because he still doesn't see this as a good thing. Maybe he's slowly starting to see it less as the worst possible thing ever, but... it's still not a good thing for him. It's not a second chance at life.
It's a chance to make sure that Stahn gets back, but that's mostly all.]
If I don't, who will?
[If Stahn's going to be focusing on other things (as he should be), then Leon will focus on this. It's not a problem; it's hardly unusual for him. If anything, asking him to try to enjoy himself, and meet people, and do things like that... it's contrary to his life thus far, and to his nature.]
Naturally, I intend to focus on our goals. I am more skilled at this anyway. It was only inevitable.
[It's not so different from how they handled things when traveling to take care of Greybaum, right? Leon doesn't see why it's a big deal now.]
You can still enjoy other things while focusing on our goals, Leon.
[he says the words quietly, but they're still firm. stahn doesn't really want to give in on this much—if leon is going to live while he's alive, he has to do more than work. he has to take time to appreciate the other things life has to offer, because... it would be a waste if he didn't.
stahn isn't afraid to say as much, either, though he doesn't initially. the truth is that he's afraid it will somehow devolve into a fight—something he really doesn't want to happen again. fighting... he's tired of fighting. he's tired of fighting with leon, of having petty arguments and disagreements that somehow feel as if they're moving the entire earth just to make a point.]
You shouldn't do nothing but work. [he says it even more quietly, and it's almost a bit pleading, too. he wants more for leon than that, and maybe that's exactly why being told to spend his time freely feels so empty.] We can work together for our goals.
[It would definitely devolve into a fight. As it is, things are getting just a tad bit tenser--because Leon doesn't want to hear any of this. He doesn't care if Stahn helps him and they work together to find a way to get Stahn back, but he doesn't intend to live for anything other than that while he's in Cerealia.
Anything else would just be... some petty attempt at life that he doesn't deserve, and he's not interested in it. He's at least not living the day to day here anymore acting as though there's no reason for him to be there--
But he can't shake the fact that the reason is so that he can help get Stahn back home.
... He just sighs softly, dragging the comb through again; it slides through without any protest, at which point he drops it to the table.]
There. I'm finished.
[With... both the brushing, and the conversation, because he stands then to go.]
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Is that so... and what did you experience in it?
[Leon didn't exactly have fun either, but...he seems to have gotten off a little more lightly than Stahn.]
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A couple of huuuge monsters tried to get me. One of them almost ate me! I would have been monster chow if I didn't have Dymlos with me. I helped someone who got hit with Paralyze... that part wasn't so bad.
[but remembering the worst part:]
Then I got stuck in a room with someone and when I tried to help get her out... I got turned to stone. [again. like the last time, remember that, leon?] It got the room unstuck but... I still feel...
[sluggish? tired? something. that sensation is never good, he was so disoriented when it wore off.]
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It's not until he brings up that he got turned to stone that Leon's fingers tighten in Stahn's hair, almost painfully so, maybe.]
You did what.
[His tone is low, but... yeah he's not!! happy about this!!]
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Owowowowowow!! Leon! [why is he so mad?]
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[Yeah, he's mad!!]
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....I'm okay now, isn't that all that matters? [he didn't think leon would get so mad about it.]
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[... ... ... why is he so angry about it? Leon pauses, and slowly reins in his temper, returning to a more gently approach towards getting this comb out of Stahn's hair.
...]
You are still such an idiot.
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[he sighs a little. he really doesn't get what this makes him an idiot.]
She was defenseless, I couldn't just let her risk things when she didn't know what was happening. It wasn't real anyway, right? [it's not like he feels good about having been petrified again. that feeling is honestly awful and kind of scary, even if he bore it with a smile while it happened.] I'm okay, Leon.
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One day, you won't be, if you keep this attitude up.
[And that scares Leon more than anything else, even if he's not ready to admit that.]
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[leon, you know the motto, don't you?]
I won't let anything happen. [you know, except he already did.]
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There are a few more somewhat sharp tugs on Stahn's hair as he works at the comb.]
If something happens to you here, what then? Who will return to stop Hugo? Who will be there to handle everything that you left behind?
[That Leon left behind too, but in a more permanent way; he's not going to be able to go back and fix things.]
You can't die. You have to survive to return.
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[stop doing that! his scalp hurts a lot already and the way leon is tugging isn't helping. why is he getting so mad about this? this is what he's always done...
is leon really that worried that something bad will happen to him?]
I told you... I won't let that happen. You can trust me, I'm... not going to let things get like that. I won't let Hugo win. I'll get back to everyone... I'll make sure everyone can live peacefully...
[but he swallows hard, and not just because his scalp is throbbing. leon's really worried. he has to be, right? does he really not believe in stahn's ability to stay focused, even though he knows how important this task is to him?
leon left that job in his hands, and he's not going to forget that, despite all the pain. their friends... they need him there, and stahn knows that. so he can't die here. he won't. and if he can find a way for leon too, he will. there's too much to be done for him to die so easily.]
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But he knows better than to say that.
Instead, he just loosens his fingers on Stahn's hair again, frowning to himself; it's fine, since it's not as though Stahn can see his face right now anyway.]
... Be certain that you do.
["Please don't die."
But he's just going to fall silent at that; he can feel the strands start to give, and now he can start to edge the comb out of his ridiculous mullet.]
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there's an inaudible sigh he lets out, one that's probably only noticeable by the rise and fall fo stahn's shoulders from that angle. maybe it's better they can't see each other's expressions, because now stahn is... unsure what he feels about that. he feels frustrated that leon would get so upset at stahn for doing something he's always done... but he's also sorry for causing leon that kind of worry, too. he knows what leon's words are really meant to mean; he's not capable of misunderstanding that.
and yet in some way, it's also nice to hear leon being concerned about him to that point. it feels... real. it's a reminder that leon, the very same leon he was hurting over and missing so badly back home is here, and carrying on with the same care as ever... in his own, leon magnus sort of way.]
I won't stop trying when people need it, but... I'll be careful. [he finally says, quietly. he's not sure if that's an apology, or a declaration, or an assurance. he's not sure if he's saying it for leon's sake, dymlos' sake, or his own at this point.
but it's the right thing to say, isn't it?]
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Leon can't ask that of him, either. Because Stahn is that way, and if he wasn't constantly helping people, he wouldn't be Stahn anymore. It's what made Stahn into the person he is. It's... what made Stahn Leon's friend (best friend?).
He frees the comb, and for a moment he just blinks at it--but he feels like they aren't done with this conversation, and Stahn's hair is still a matted disaster, so instead he just starts working at the tangles with said comb, somewhat carefully.]
... Fine. See to it that you are. It isn't as though it matters to me what you do with yourself, so long as--
["you don't die"]
--it doesn't cause trouble later.
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I won't, Leon. I promise... I'm not going to let you down. [not with that. not with anything at all. leon left a lot of responsibilities in his hands. he has so much to accomplish for the sake of leon's sacrifices, for avenging him, for saving the world and making sure that hugo's plans don't ever come to pass.
there's just too much, and the last thing stahn wants to do is die before he can accomplish those things. if there was an afterlife, there's no way he'd ever be able to face leon in it if he were to fail. he can't fail leon. he can't fail his friends. he can't fail his family, the swordians, or the whole world.
stahn falls quiet again, his head dipping a bit—probably not the most helpful thing when leon is trying to work on his hair (and doing more than stahn could have ever asked for, honestly. see... leon's a pal when it really counts. this is why stahn trusts him so much). but he can't help himself; this is one of those topics that causes stahn to get a little too caught up in his own head and think way too much...
and that hardly ever works out well for anyone.]
I'm not going to make trouble for you, Leon.
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Keep your head up.
[... There's a pause, and then he coughs quietly, realizing that he was getting perhaps a bit too invested in something that--
Well. He doesn't want Stahn to think that he cares if he's drooping, or anything like that!! That would be...ridiculous...]
... I am not finished yet.
[With combing, that is.]
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...maybe it's not, but it feels like it's a little more than it's about his hair.]
Ah, right. Sorry. [he sounds a bit sheepish, but stahn doesn't make it sound like he's too upset or downcast. just like this next words don't give any indication to their true intent.]
Thanks, Leon. [it can be taken as simply as just thanking him for helping with his disastrous hair situation. and while that's partially true.. there's an underlying intent of thanking him for not letting stahn hang his head. he gets caught up in his thoughts too easily these days, with so many bad things having happened. both at home and here and cerealia, there have just been too many things, and falling back into a questioning mindset, worrying so much about everything... he can't help himself.
but he knows he'll get scolded for saying that, so he just quietly lifts his head to gaze straight ahead before closing his eyes.]
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It's not like Stahn, of course. But Leon's realizing that a lot of things that "aren't like Stahn" are really just a matter of Stahn having had to change, after going through so much. Stahn... was still Stahn. But he's quieter sometimes now, more solemn, a little more downtrodden, and it doesn't feel right at all.
The comb gets caught on a knot, and Leon narrows his eyes, though he holds onto the hair so it doesn't tug too much.]
... It is growing more and more obvious that we are going to be here for some time. [Probably. There's always the chance that one of them will disappear, but Leon's choosing to not address that right now.] To that end... you won't be able to function if you are constantly focused on that. [If you are constantly shoving aside everything emotional... well, what sort of person would Stahn be if he did that constantly? Stahn isn't like Leon.
And not even Leon can do that all the time.]
Treat this much as you would have treated a long journey. Our goal has not changed, but our methodology musts if we are going to accomplish it.
[He doesn't really know how else to address the remaining, heavy feeling between them, really; all he knows is that... this can't be right either. If they are trying to return to some sort of normalcy--this isn't it.]
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though while many of stahn's changes came as a result of the things that happened in the wake of leon's death, stahn suspects that leon had changed not so much because of his death but... maybe because of their journey together. maybe it's both, and stahn can't question it too deeply, but... this is different. it's different to hear these words coming from leon, and all the while as he's treating stahn so gently while working on his hair.
it's not a bad thing.
isn't this... what he always believed leon was capable of? isn't this why he'd always believed in leon right to the bitter end.]
I know. No matter what happens, I'm not giving up on anything. Getting back home, finishing everything with hugo, settling down and living happily when I can make a family and... ["and find a way for you to be able to live somewhere too" are the words he stops himself from saying; even with stahn's unfiltered nature, he's not ready to say something like that aloud. not when he knows that it'll just raise tensions they're trying to avoid.
so he clamps his mouth shut for a moment before sucking in a deep breath.] I won't lose sight of those things. We're going to figure it all out... I know that.
[he's trying here. he's trying to get out of his own head, and that's why he adds:]
I know my head's not good sometimes either, so... thanks. For reminding me, when that happens... what I can't let myself forget. [his head's not good. sometimes it's just because he's not smart, and because he can't always grasp the complex things, especially when they start getting a little too existential. but other times, his head isn't good just from the loss and the trauma that he's constantly forced to swallow and carry on with.
he wants the normalcy too, of course. he's just having a hard time getting there when the conversations turn this way.]
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And when Stahn is back and ready to save the world, Leon can rest, because this entire experience has been harrowing in ways he never expected or wanted.
Either way, he drags the comb through Stahn's hair, now mostly untangled, though it snags lightly on a few tangles on the way down (and honestly, how he does he even deal with a mane like this?).]
... Don't let yourself forget.
[That's really all Leon can say to that. He doesn't need the thanks, but he's not going to deny it either. They only have each other to keep themselves on track, as well as Chaltier and Dymlos, of course, but.... if this is going to be a long term thing, it's going to be hard on Stahn. Leon is just more used to long term missions.
That's all there is to this.]
In the meantime, so long as you are not being entirely frivolous about it, you may as well fill your time how you want.
[Leon's not going to judge anymore. They're stuck here, after all. They can't... leave, yet. So if Stahn wants to go make friends and play around and do things like that, it's not like Leon has any right to say he shouldn't, really.]
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[it makes him feel strangely warm to hear that coming from leon. leon, who has always been strict with him. leon, who has always pushed their agenda and got mad when they started to lose focus. leon, who not long ago would have engaged in a blow-out argument for even suggesting something like that.
there's something good about it, he knows. somewhere along the way, leon has come to understand a bit about how stahn is, how he thinks and what he needs to in order to carry on. making connections with others, trying to help the people around him, and seeking reasons to smile when everything seems to damning is stahn's way. and leon isn't trying to push him into some other mold. so maybe that's why there's that warmth that spreads in his chest a little, that makes him feel like this is nothing less than the exact reason why he's been so keep to keep his faith in leon and call him "best friend" despite everything.
but despite that, there's something about it that feels so empty. he's accepting this from leon, but that's all it is, right? it's an offer. leon isn't doing the same for himself, and the truth of the matter is that for all the people he's come to care about in cerealia, leon is still the most important person here to him. leon is still someone he wants to see get to enjoy the new lease on life. leon is the one who needs to fill his time with things he enjoys, too.
in the end, stahn can't be selfish about it. even when he's at his darkest moments and his more selfish tendencies rise to the surface... leon's well-being is too important to him.]
I... hope you'll do the same. There are lot of things to enjoy, and a lot of good people... so you should fill your time with things you like too.
...Not just trying to find a way to get me back home. [do something for yourself, leon. please. live a little bit.]
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But... it's not what he wants, either. He doesn't want Stahn looking out for him in this, because he still doesn't see this as a good thing. Maybe he's slowly starting to see it less as the worst possible thing ever, but... it's still not a good thing for him. It's not a second chance at life.
It's a chance to make sure that Stahn gets back, but that's mostly all.]
If I don't, who will?
[If Stahn's going to be focusing on other things (as he should be), then Leon will focus on this. It's not a problem; it's hardly unusual for him. If anything, asking him to try to enjoy himself, and meet people, and do things like that... it's contrary to his life thus far, and to his nature.]
Naturally, I intend to focus on our goals. I am more skilled at this anyway. It was only inevitable.
[It's not so different from how they handled things when traveling to take care of Greybaum, right? Leon doesn't see why it's a big deal now.]
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[he says the words quietly, but they're still firm. stahn doesn't really want to give in on this much—if leon is going to live while he's alive, he has to do more than work. he has to take time to appreciate the other things life has to offer, because... it would be a waste if he didn't.
stahn isn't afraid to say as much, either, though he doesn't initially. the truth is that he's afraid it will somehow devolve into a fight—something he really doesn't want to happen again. fighting... he's tired of fighting. he's tired of fighting with leon, of having petty arguments and disagreements that somehow feel as if they're moving the entire earth just to make a point.]
You shouldn't do nothing but work. [he says it even more quietly, and it's almost a bit pleading, too. he wants more for leon than that, and maybe that's exactly why being told to spend his time freely feels so empty.] We can work together for our goals.
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Anything else would just be... some petty attempt at life that he doesn't deserve, and he's not interested in it. He's at least not living the day to day here anymore acting as though there's no reason for him to be there--
But he can't shake the fact that the reason is so that he can help get Stahn back home.
... He just sighs softly, dragging the comb through again; it slides through without any protest, at which point he drops it to the table.]
There. I'm finished.
[With... both the brushing, and the conversation, because he stands then to go.]
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