[In theory, she knows that there's still time for her. They'd only said that she would be taken to the execution grounds and though she was once fearful of those implications, they seem so far away now that she can recognize that perhaps it was just a merciful way of buying time rather than killing her right then and there.
... well. "Merciful."
There's a pause as she balls her hands into fists against the park bench, her gaze turning thoughtful.]
Is it.... bad? That I - I'd thought that I couldn't be better than you. In general I still don't know if I can....
[If that's even possible for someone like her, but-]
But even I gave up for a moment there... Maybe I shouldn't have.
[It takes Leon a moment to respond, even as he avoids looking at her, instead staring out into the garden. Honestly? He's not good at this. He can't offer comfort, and she should've spoken to Stahn instead, or Otome. He can't really give her what she needs here, because all he knows how to do is speak what he sees as the truth.
Which is what he does now.]
You... stated that no matter how hard you tried, there was something pulling you down. That due to that, you could not break the surface.
[Lili couldn't save herself--but ironically, that's what Leon thinks makes her stronger. There's a slight, wry twist to his expression, but otherwise, he's surprisingly calm and blank.]
That means that until the end, you were fighting to live.
[It's hard to admit this even now, and he hates that he has to, but it's the truth and right now he's committed.
He's Leon Magnus, and he doesn't do things halfway, even when those things are speaking about this.]
... That makes you stronger than me, when it comes to this.
[Because Leon had just...given up. He didn't try to save himself at all, and that's the difference. And maybe... maybe he gets why Stahn gets so upset when Leon doesn't strive to live here, when he thinks of it like that, because in a lot of ways, that's being weak and running away...and maybe he should also be trying to be better.]
Yet she finds herself hurt by this truth, her eyes widening even as she fixates her gaze to the ground. Her shoulders curl inward, her entire body wanting to curl inward, and she takes measured breaths as if that would help her be able to parse through this.
Even if she'd seen it herself, seen the way that Leon had given up when facing his death, it's something else to hear it from his lips. Perhaps not for the first time, but even repetition doesn't quite manage to take the sting away.]
If -
[If you were in my position is too cruel. She stops herself before she finishes.]
He's honestly a little surprised by Lili's reaction. He'd thought it was a positive thing. She was concerned about being stronger than him still, wasn't she? But this makes it clear. She still is. Regardless of what happened, she is still fighting, and she is still strong.
She is still enough.
And she should never doubt that.
Because Leon doesn't know if he'd fight against it even now, if that was what came to be. If he had to die.... perhaps that would be as it should be.
He's not supposed to be alive anyway.]
... I fail to see how that is any of your business. Regardless, I would not be in that situation again, so it does not matter.
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no subject
[In theory, she knows that there's still time for her. They'd only said that she would be taken to the execution grounds and though she was once fearful of those implications, they seem so far away now that she can recognize that perhaps it was just a merciful way of buying time rather than killing her right then and there.
... well. "Merciful."
There's a pause as she balls her hands into fists against the park bench, her gaze turning thoughtful.]
Is it.... bad? That I - I'd thought that I couldn't be better than you. In general I still don't know if I can....
[If that's even possible for someone like her, but-]
But even I gave up for a moment there... Maybe I shouldn't have.
no subject
Which is what he does now.]
You... stated that no matter how hard you tried, there was something pulling you down. That due to that, you could not break the surface.
[Lili couldn't save herself--but ironically, that's what Leon thinks makes her stronger. There's a slight, wry twist to his expression, but otherwise, he's surprisingly calm and blank.]
That means that until the end, you were fighting to live.
[It's hard to admit this even now, and he hates that he has to, but it's the truth and right now he's committed.
He's Leon Magnus, and he doesn't do things halfway, even when those things are speaking about this.]
... That makes you stronger than me, when it comes to this.
[Because Leon had just...given up. He didn't try to save himself at all, and that's the difference. And maybe... maybe he gets why Stahn gets so upset when Leon doesn't strive to live here, when he thinks of it like that, because in a lot of ways, that's being weak and running away...and maybe he should also be trying to be better.]
no subject
Yet she finds herself hurt by this truth, her eyes widening even as she fixates her gaze to the ground. Her shoulders curl inward, her entire body wanting to curl inward, and she takes measured breaths as if that would help her be able to parse through this.
Even if she'd seen it herself, seen the way that Leon had given up when facing his death, it's something else to hear it from his lips. Perhaps not for the first time, but even repetition doesn't quite manage to take the sting away.]
If -
[If you were in my position is too cruel. She stops herself before she finishes.]
... You'd fight against it now, wouldn't you?
[Right?]
no subject
He's honestly a little surprised by Lili's reaction. He'd thought it was a positive thing. She was concerned about being stronger than him still, wasn't she? But this makes it clear. She still is. Regardless of what happened, she is still fighting, and she is still strong.
She is still enough.
And she should never doubt that.
Because Leon doesn't know if he'd fight against it even now, if that was what came to be. If he had to die.... perhaps that would be as it should be.
He's not supposed to be alive anyway.]
... I fail to see how that is any of your business. Regardless, I would not be in that situation again, so it does not matter.
[Probably.
And if he is.... then that's that.]