[There's an instinctive need to say "I'm fine" and to keep repeating the lie that she's been telling herself - but she had promised Leon, hadn't she? No lies. It's more of a point of pride, because she refuses to break such a promise even now. So she reaches up to wipe her own tears away, taking a moment to calm herself so she doesn't erupt into tears.]
... I want to be.
[More than anything.]
But it's... not as easy as I'd hoped. [Dying is difficult. Coming to terms with it and her own weakness is difficult. Realizing that there are people that she doesn't want to leave behind is just as difficult.] You'd think that'd be obvious, but I foolishly thought...
[ . . . . a shake of her head.]
Even so, I... I grew up around the water. My work at home is centered around port towns. Even the recent bout in ViViD made me realize that nothing calms me more than the ocean. [Water is her solace. Her saving grace. It just so happened to also take her life. Though even now the mentions of the things that she once loved make her tense, her fingers curling.] If I let this place take that away from me.... isn't that allowing them to win?
no subject
... I want to be.
[More than anything.]
But it's... not as easy as I'd hoped. [Dying is difficult. Coming to terms with it and her own weakness is difficult. Realizing that there are people that she doesn't want to leave behind is just as difficult.] You'd think that'd be obvious, but I foolishly thought...
[ . . . . a shake of her head.]
Even so, I... I grew up around the water. My work at home is centered around port towns. Even the recent bout in ViViD made me realize that nothing calms me more than the ocean. [Water is her solace. Her saving grace. It just so happened to also take her life. Though even now the mentions of the things that she once loved make her tense, her fingers curling.] If I let this place take that away from me.... isn't that allowing them to win?