[for a moment, stahn looks at leon, puzzled. it's puzzling to him simply because it's the first time he's heard leon ask something like that so sincerely.
it's not an easy question to answer, either. every life has value, but... how can stahn decide that for leon? he can't really decide for someone else what gives their life worth; he just knows that the flippant way leon treats things definitely feels like he's waiting to die again.]
I... can't say for sure. You don't find worth in the same things I do, right? But I think...
[he pauses, trying to find the words. stahn's not too good at this either. as much as he wants to get through to leon, he really doesn't have the tools or the vocabulary to really convey everything he'd like to.]
You should think about the people who care about you. Remember... how sad they would be if you gave your life up so easily. [stahn is thinking about people like otome, and of their friends back home; of rutee, and of marian too. but stahn is also thinking about himself—even thinking about losing leon a second time causes a deep ache in his chest, and that sense of loss is visible in his expression.]
You have a chance, and... [this is the part that's hardest for him to say.]
...Dying isn't a way to make up for mistakes. Nobody else gets anything from it but pain. So you need to live. You need to live and find a way that means something. [that sounds harsh, doesn't it? but stahn realizes that, so he'll soften it up with some sincerity.]
I don't think you need to... repent or apologize. But... if it's something you feel like you need to do, Leon... then do it. But do it the right way, don't just think giving up your life is going to ever make things better for anyone else.
[it's so hard for stahn to say that, but it's the truth. of course, what stahn isn't saying is that choosing to die a second time, not being willing to find value in hs life because he "deserves" death is cowardly. it's running away, and stahn thinks too highly of leon to let him live out his days in that sort of state.]
no subject
it's not an easy question to answer, either. every life has value, but... how can stahn decide that for leon? he can't really decide for someone else what gives their life worth; he just knows that the flippant way leon treats things definitely feels like he's waiting to die again.]
I... can't say for sure. You don't find worth in the same things I do, right? But I think...
[he pauses, trying to find the words. stahn's not too good at this either. as much as he wants to get through to leon, he really doesn't have the tools or the vocabulary to really convey everything he'd like to.]
You should think about the people who care about you. Remember... how sad they would be if you gave your life up so easily. [stahn is thinking about people like otome, and of their friends back home; of rutee, and of marian too. but stahn is also thinking about himself—even thinking about losing leon a second time causes a deep ache in his chest, and that sense of loss is visible in his expression.]
You have a chance, and... [this is the part that's hardest for him to say.]
...Dying isn't a way to make up for mistakes. Nobody else gets anything from it but pain. So you need to live. You need to live and find a way that means something. [that sounds harsh, doesn't it? but stahn realizes that, so he'll soften it up with some sincerity.]
I don't think you need to... repent or apologize. But... if it's something you feel like you need to do, Leon... then do it. But do it the right way, don't just think giving up your life is going to ever make things better for anyone else.
[it's so hard for stahn to say that, but it's the truth. of course, what stahn isn't saying is that choosing to die a second time, not being willing to find value in hs life because he "deserves" death is cowardly. it's running away, and stahn thinks too highly of leon to let him live out his days in that sort of state.]