[there's a hesitation that comes with trying to adhere to leon's request—but ultimately, his arms will drop to his sides after a moment, though he only takes the slightest step backwards. he knows... he knows he had to have made leon uncomfortable by doing that.
leon, who was so uncomfortable with anyone touching him because of his past. leon, who bristled at anything that seemed remotely caring or affectionate from his friends. it's a line that stahn crossed—but it's a like he felt like he needed to cross. he couldn't control it.
stahn knows that he isn't great with words, and for all that he tries to convey his most sincere feelings... sometimes it's not enough. with leon especially, who manages to find ways to twist his intent and get angry at stahn for caring, it never feels like enough. it's just something else that seems to get lost in translation, something else he fails at conveying every single time.]
Learn. Learn how to tolerate it. [stahn will say after a few long, heavy, silent moments. his own voice is quiet and shaky. his eyes are trained on his feet for the moment while he finds the resolve to say what he feels.
he'd acted impulsively, but it doesn't change that he means what he says.]
I'm not going to give up. Not on you, not on finding a way—some way—for you. You have this chance, so you have to live.
[it's something he's so desperate to convey.] I don't know what the other people you know will do, Leon. But... I didn't give up on you then. Even when everything happened, I always believed in you. I still believe in you, so...
[stahn is finding his resolve a bit, though it's honestly very shaky and probably even easier to push him back into the miserable state he's been in. he's still not happy, but the dam breaking is revealing all the other small fissures, all of the small cracks that really show just how much stahn has been trying to do for leon this whole time.
he raises his head to look at leon, regardless of whether or not leon elects to meet his gaze.]
Believe in me this time, Leon. I'm not leaving you behind, no matter what. [even if it means going out of his way to find a place where leon can live and exist, even if it's in their word and they have to do something to reinvent him. even if it's another world entirely where he can have a family, or friends and just not be alone...
stahn doesn't want to give up on that. he wants to do this, he wants to be able to help leon at least once in their lives.]
Please... [he pleads, and it's not just for leon to believe in him. it's also for leon to stop acting like it's better for them to keep their distance.
because to stahn, it's obvious it's only hurting them both more, and he's sick to death of seeing leon hurt.]
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leon, who was so uncomfortable with anyone touching him because of his past. leon, who bristled at anything that seemed remotely caring or affectionate from his friends. it's a line that stahn crossed—but it's a like he felt like he needed to cross. he couldn't control it.
stahn knows that he isn't great with words, and for all that he tries to convey his most sincere feelings... sometimes it's not enough. with leon especially, who manages to find ways to twist his intent and get angry at stahn for caring, it never feels like enough. it's just something else that seems to get lost in translation, something else he fails at conveying every single time.]
Learn. Learn how to tolerate it. [stahn will say after a few long, heavy, silent moments. his own voice is quiet and shaky. his eyes are trained on his feet for the moment while he finds the resolve to say what he feels.
he'd acted impulsively, but it doesn't change that he means what he says.]
I'm not going to give up. Not on you, not on finding a way—some way—for you. You have this chance, so you have to live.
[it's something he's so desperate to convey.] I don't know what the other people you know will do, Leon. But... I didn't give up on you then. Even when everything happened, I always believed in you. I still believe in you, so...
[stahn is finding his resolve a bit, though it's honestly very shaky and probably even easier to push him back into the miserable state he's been in. he's still not happy, but the dam breaking is revealing all the other small fissures, all of the small cracks that really show just how much stahn has been trying to do for leon this whole time.
he raises his head to look at leon, regardless of whether or not leon elects to meet his gaze.]
Believe in me this time, Leon. I'm not leaving you behind, no matter what. [even if it means going out of his way to find a place where leon can live and exist, even if it's in their word and they have to do something to reinvent him. even if it's another world entirely where he can have a family, or friends and just not be alone...
stahn doesn't want to give up on that. he wants to do this, he wants to be able to help leon at least once in their lives.]
Please... [he pleads, and it's not just for leon to believe in him. it's also for leon to stop acting like it's better for them to keep their distance.
because to stahn, it's obvious it's only hurting them both more, and he's sick to death of seeing leon hurt.]